Bonker's Vision

WELCOME 2 THE WORLD OF SLAPPY BONKERS
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Directory

• VOTE NOW: Primal's worst Limsa

• Cool stuff 4 U 2 C(1/8/24)

• games by me (coming soon)

• Site Updates

One day my friend says to me, "Since you barely play video games and have no gaming sense why don't try summoner?" and I say "Oh, okay." Then we proceed to level summoner. After a little bit of Ruining I do "Summon Carbuncle" and am greeted by this:

Absolutely VILE. Not only is the name horrible but the critter itself is in a word....grotesque. This undulating, Eveelution lookin' thing is my companion until I get something else ?? This is the price I pay for being an IDIOT. Forced to gaze upon this horrendous being. As soon as I get out of a dungeon I put this fucker away.

"Go back inside your pokebal-I mean book, dumbass!"

COOL STUFF 4 U -WEEK (5/14/24)

take a listen to this, pop-pop

REMOVE URIANGER FROM FINAL FANTASY FOURTEEN.I am of the opinion that URIANGER should be removed from FINAL FANTASY FOURTEEN. He doesn't deserve to be there. He has suffered enough. There are Acsians and cat girls and gamba and RMT and he shouldn't have to put up with any of that nonsense. We should all work together to make URIANGER real so that he won't have to be in ffxiv anymore and then i can kiss him. Who's with me.

Slappy "Porkchop" Bonkers is flesh puppet on final fantasy 14. You may have seen him pretending to AFK in Limsa, you may have seen him tentatively enter a venue then in a flash, leave. He has maybe even been your healer in a dungeon and he was really bad and he felt bad about being bad as healer and didn't deserve your commend.When Slappy is not hiding from his FC mates he enjoys shenanigans, Ocean Fishing, and pissing away his gil.

UPDATES

to-DO

When I was 19 years old my mom told me she never put salt in my food.

Canned music video for "Unleash The Dragon", where Sisqo fights a dragon, shocking!? (Audio is censored unfortunately.)

On November 20th, 2023 Final Fanasty XIV launched a cloud data center for testing potenial problems, All testers got a story skip to Shadowbingers, 50 million gill, levelskips for every job (except ones after Shadowbringers.) , 50 million gil, and some miscellany. "Support Desk" and "Report RMT activtity" was disabled aswell.The Cloud Data Center would bring together many players from different regions with different playstyles. It would undeniably be chaos and boy, was I going there to witn- I-I mean, to test the servers and give valuable feedback and make new friends!

23-11-23

First was creating a new character for my mission. You'd think I'd go as a Lalafell? it'd blow my cover! Nobody would suspect me as an ELEZEN! So, I created Danny Elfman, A stunning Wildwood Elezen.

In Limsa, I met with my good friend, Guydelot Urselmert (this is Kugane, I know.) We
used a few of the level skips to 80, currently I'm in post-patch-ARR-pre-heavensward
post-Japanese-bubble-economy-burst, pre-spiderverse 3 content, so I was overwhelmed by all my new
abilities. We tried to get some grand company seals but i was having a hard time
playing at WHM level 80. Why does everything look the same?

I boxed Big Dumpy and all I got was this lousy t-shirt"

After our miserable attempt at getting seals, we found ourselves back in Limsa. I stood
around people watching for awhile. Everyone has crass, gimmicky, or names they
couldn't get on their home servers. It was great!A strange group emerge into my view, an FC called <MPREG> made up of different
NPCs who were pregnant including but not limited to Godbert, Haldrath,
Hauchenfaunt, and internet personality Jerma985.

The major theme of 01's Limsa was fatherhood, pregnancy, and love between men.
Close by was a Lalafell named "Birth Control" to the group, so I knew they had made a
decision to start a family rather than their pregnancies being unexpected. <MPREG>
was single handily running shout and yell chat with nearly unending shitposting.
On my end, Guy and I had started an FC, <surly>, and had planned on buying a house
when when we reached the needed rank in Maelstrom. Many wards were available
plots of varying sizes for purchase.Unsurspsingly the markerboard was sparse with items. If you wanted your glam you
needed to D.I.Y. Glamour prisms were quite expensive for even just one. I ended up
spending 20 million gil on a 99 stack which I split between Guy and me. After grinding
GC seals I ended my first day.

24-11-23

My second day I decided to get on in the morning rather than the afternoon. Like
gremlins, <MPREG>'s numbers had grown overnight.

More NPCs had gotten pregnant, and some non-NPCs joined in with them blocking
the Market Board doing a step dance in unison. It was an impressive sight roughly 13
players long and a depth of 2 players forming into a wall.
In the morning, JP players were active in shout chat. One player seemed to be upset
with MPREG using shout and yell chat and there was a sort-of back and forth using
auto-translation. During that some JP players had a conversation about Ultraman..?
MPREG seemed unphased by this an continued to dominate the Limsa Shout and Yell
chat.Things were kinda slow in the afternoon, I was going to log out anyway to do
somethings. Logged back in during the evening to get more GC seals, the MPREG wall
had gotten alittle thinner than before. Shout converstation had gone silent. Things
were pretty sleepy.

Where MPREG had been the day prior now had these Lalafells in sugarloaf hats. I found their presence disquieting as I did not know their motives.I ended the day going to a venue called "Beautiful World" in Shirogane, seemingly
cloud01's only (English -speaking) venue then fooled around a bit in an unsync'd
dungeon.